Is this a good story start?

Good start. I notice at the beginning you said 'MY ocean blue eyes...' she cant see her own eyes so don't describe them just say something like, 'my glare hit her so much I swear it bounced back and hit me, I could feel it myself - it was clear I wanted nothing to do with her, so why she bothering?' I dunno something like that plus Ebony didn't just run away lol describe how she walked off with the hump not how she 'ran away'